I remember you
by JapanSherlockbiased
Summary: Sherlock jumps from the rooftop and John sees it all. However seeing his best friend taking his own life puts John into shock and when he wakes up a week later at the hospital he remembers nothing about Sherlock or the people he knew through him like Molly, Lestrade and the others. Two years later Sherlock returns and finds out, now what will he do to bring back his memory?
1. Chapter 1

**I remember you, chapter one**

"Hello?"

"John…"

"Sherlock, are you ok?"

"Turn around and walk back the way you came from"

"No I'm coming in"

"Just do as I ask! Please…."

John stopped and turned around. "Where?" He started walking back until he heard Sherlock's voice on the phone again.

"Stop there"

He stopped. "Sherlock?"

"Ok, look up. I'm on the rooftop" John swallowed and looked to his left where there was a big building. On the top of it stood Sherlock.

"Oh god…."

"I….I can't come down so…..we will just have to do it like this"

John felt his heart beating faster, he was nervous because of something and he didn't like the feeling. "What's going on?"

"…..an apology" Sherlock said with a deep voice. "It's…..all true"

"W-What?"

"Everything they said about me, is true. I…..invented Jim Moriarty" John felt his heart drop. He couldn't be serious right? I mean….he is Sherlock! And hearing this made him panic because he felt that there was something going on.

"Sherlock….why are you saying this?" he asked with a nervous voice.

Sherlock felt his voice start to shake but tried to control himself. "I'm a fake…"

"Sherlock…"

"The newspapers were right all along. I want you to tell Lestrade, Mrs Hudson and Molly. In fact…..tell anyone who will listen to you….that I created Moriarty for my own purposes"

"Ok….shut up Sherlock just, shut up. The first time we met, you knew all about my sister right?"

"Nobody could be that clever…"

"You could…"

Sherlock laughed sadly. "….I researched you. Before we met I researched everything about you to impress you. It's a trick….just a magic trick"

"No…stop it now" John was feeling more and more uncomfortable about the feeling he had in his gut. It didn't mean anything good that was for sure. He started walking towards the building but Sherlock stopped him.

"No, stay exactly where you are! Don't move"

"Ok, alright"

"Keep your eyes fixed on me! Please….will you do this for me?"

"….do what?"

"This phone call….it's a…..it's my note. It's what people do, don't they? ….leave a note?"

John felt his voice started to shake. He knew what was coming but he didn't want to accept it. "Leave a note when?"

"…..goodbye John"

"No! Don't…!" John didn't know what to do. Sherlock removed his phone from his ear and threw it aside before looking down. "No! SHERLOCK!" Before he could start running towards the building Sherlock put his arms up, jumped off the roof and was now falling down to the ground. John felt his whole body go into shock and couldn't move. "Sherl….."

Sherlock disappeared behind a small building in front of him but he could hear the sound of something smashing onto the concrete. His body reacted to the sound and he started running towards where Sherlock was. He came round the corner and saw Sherlock's body but because of all the confusion he didn't notice the bicycle behind him. The bicycle ran into him and knocked him down so he hit his head on the ground. His vision was blurry but he could see that people had started gathering around Sherlock's body. He finally managed to get himself up and started running again towards Sherlock.

"I'm a doctor, let me come through, please!" he shouted through the crowd but was held back by a nurse. "He's my friend, please! Let me through!" He then saw it. Sherlock's face, covered in blood, his eyes open and he looked like his soul had just flew away and left him lifeless. He felt his knees go weak and was caught by the nurse to help him sit down. "Oh my…..god…..no"

Some doctors from the hospital arrived and lifted Sherlock's body onto a stretcher and went inside the hospital to treat him. John still sat on the ground pale and still in shock. He had no idea what to do next.

"Are you alright?" A voice then said and he looked to his left. There stood a male nurse looking at him worried. "Let's get you on your feet shall we? I will help you stand" The man grabbed John lightly and helped him stand up. His knees were still weak but he somehow managed to stand. He couldn't stop thinking of Sherlock's face, covered in blood with his eyes wide open as if he had lost his soul. All the pictures of him falling, covered in blood and all just came rushing into his head and before he knew it everything went black and he once again fell to the ground.

When John woke up he noticed white walls around him and noticed that he was in the hospital. He was really confused though to why he was there and started looking around the room for clues. Just then a tall man in a brown suit carrying an umbrella entered his room.

"You are finally awake" he said and smiled a bit. "I was getting a bit worried there" John just stared at the man. "Is there something wrong?"

"Sorry, but…..do I know you?" John asked confused. The man blinked a few times before clearing his throat.

"You don't know who I am?"

"No I don't….have I met you before?" John asked and looked a bit annoyed. The man swallowed and then smiled a bit again.

"I'm so sorry for not introducing myself when entering the room. My name's Mycroft and I work for the British Government. I have met you once before in town and I was the one who brought you here in an ambulance so I was just checking how you were feeling"

"You brought me here in an ambulance? What exactly happened to me?"

"You got hit by a bicycle, got knocked out after hitting your head and I found you and therefore brought you here. You have been sleeping for almost a week now"

"So that's what happened to me…." John said and looked outside the window.

"I shouldn't be delaying any longer, I have got work to do so I will inform the doctor that you are awake. Take care" the man said and shut the door behind him. Not long after it opened again and in came a doctor and a nurse.

"Ah, Mr Watson you are awake" the doctor said and smiled. "Since you hit your head I'm a bit worried about the brain so I would like to ask you a few questions if that's alright?"

"Of course" John said.

"Right. Then, tell me your full name"

"John Hamish Watson"

"Family?"

"Sister, Harry"

"Occupation?"

"Army doctor"

"Address?"

"…" John paused. He tried to remember where he lived but it was blank. "Sorry….I can't remember"

"Oh…I see. Then, what were you doing last Monday?"

John started thinking. "I…..I was having lunch at a Japanese restaurant by myself. I ordered sushi"

"Ok. Then I will show you some photos of people and you tell me if you remember anyone of their faces, name or whatever you can remember" John nodded. The doctor put up some photos but John couldn't remember anyone on them. "Alright then, I got myself some answers. Now I would like to take a MRI shot of your brain to see if there is any internal bleedings or injuries just to make sure" John nodded. "Good. Now the nurse will take you to the room so just do as she says"

"Ok" John said and went along with her to the MRI room. When the doctor went to his office again Mycroft was sitting there in one of the chairs.

"So, how was it?" Mycroft asked and looked at the doctor.

"It is as you feared. He doesn't remember a single thing about the last years when it comes to Sherlock and everyone he started knowing through him. He said he was eating lunch at a Japanese restaurant last Monday alone and he ordered sushi"

Mycroft sighed. "That day he and Sherlock ate lunch at a Japanese restaurant"

"It's post-traumatic amnesia. He went into shock after the accident and seeing Sherlock jump from the roof were too much for him so he must have erased all the memories of Sherlock and everyone who has got something to do with him. That was why he didn't remember you" Mycroft put one hand on his forehead. "What are you going to do now?"

"I can't do anything about this. The only thing I can do now is to help him moving into a new apartment and get him a job. What happens after that I cannot say. We can't do anything else but to wait for Sherlock to come back and to keep everyone else away from him for the moment"

"You won't help him get his memory back then?"

"That is not my task. Besides if there's anyone who can bring his memory back it is not me. However I will keep an eye on him until the time comes"

The doctor smiled. "Knowing you I would say you will probably follow every step he takes just to make sure he's safe. Just as you do with Sherlock"

Mycroft got up from the chair, grabbed his umbrella and went to the doctor, now standing in front of him. "You tell anyone about this I swear I will make you disappear and turn you into fish food" The doctor grinned.

"You have my word"


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry it took so long to post next chapter but I have been busy with work and since yesterday I have been lying at home with a fever and a bad cold but I will try to write again soon so I can upload chapter 3 and so on

* * *

**I remember you, chapter 2**

After two years Sherlock had finally destroyed Moriarty's network and was on his way back to London. Since no one knew he was alive his brother Mycroft had got him a car to drive him to his own office to talk to him.

Sherlock walked inside, looking literally like shit with his hair in a ponytail since it had grown during the years, he had a beard and looked dirty. Thankfully his brother had called some people to the office to help him go back to being Sherlock again. They helped him cut his hair, to shave him and then make sure he looked normal again.

"You have been busy I see" he then heard Mycroft say and looked to his right.

"Moriarty had a big network so yes. I had to travel quite a lot so I was lucky not to get busted"

"I'm sure you came up with a story and all since you used a fake passport?"

"Of course, but then we also have to remember who helped me get a fake passport?" Sherlock said and looked knowingly at Mycroft who cleared his throat.

"Anyway, you're back now"

"Yes, it took a bit longer than I thought but two years isn't that much I guess"

"Even though you risked your life two years isn't that much?"

"Not really no, it was worth it because now John and the others are safe again" Mycroft didn't answer which Sherlock noticed and looked at him. Mycroft avoided his gaze. "Mycroft, something wrong?"

"Actually, there's something I didn't tell you about because I didn't want it to affect your work. It's about Dr Watson…."

"What about John?" Sherlock asked quickly, Mycroft could hear the worry in his voice.

"After you were brought into the hospital John collapsed outside after seeing you jump. He went into shock and went into a kind of coma for a week. And when he woke up….he didn't remember anything"

"…what?" Sherlock now asked quietly, like a whisper.

"He got amnesia. He doesn't remember me, Molly, or anything else that has to do with you. We showed him photos and asked him about different dates when you two solved crimes together. He answered that he was either alone or didn't remember any of it, for him you do no longer exist. I know I couldn't help him get back his memories so instead I made up a story about me and the rest and helped him get a new apartment and a job. Haven't been in touch since" Mycroft said and now looked at Sherlock who had anger in his eyes.

"And why didn't you tell me? You didn't think it was important for me to know that my best friend had got amnesia because of what I did?!"

"I didn't tell you because you had another job to focus your attention to and both of us know how you feel about him so don't try to conceal it!" Mycroft said with an angry voice so Sherlock fell silent. He had never seen Mycroft mad before.

"Wha…? What do you mean how I feel about him? He's…my best friend"

"And I'm just as straight as Mark Gatiss" Mycroft said with sarcasm so Sherlock looked at him confused. "Anyway, the doctors said he's fine otherwise. He wasn't harmed anywhere else but they don't know if his memories can come back or not. Everything is up to him. If he sees you and want to remember you they might come back, if not he will be like that forever"

"Let me meet him" Sherlock then said.

"And what? Walk into his office telling him you're his best friend coming back from the dead and that you're sorry for causing him all of that pain?"

"So what if I was going to do that? If you have a better plan then please share it with the class Mycroft"

Mycroft looked annoyed at first but then sighed. "Why not just start over?"

"Start over?"

"Pretend to meet him for the first time, be friendly and become his friend again. If he hasn't changed he might want to join you again on cases and all"

"Mycroft, I only have one chance to meet him again and I don't want to blow it. Never mind, I'll figure something out. Where will he be tonight?"

"How would I know?"

"You always know and this time you should know"

"Today he has got nothing planned it seems so you will find him at his house I suppose. Here's the address" Mycroft gave him a note with the address and just then his secretary walked in with Sherlock's coat. He quickly put it on and then walked out without saying another word.

He took a cab to a street close to the one where John lived and got out of it. He then looked around, there was quite a crowd but hopefully no one would recognize him or look at him. He started walking and tried to keep a low profile when suddenly he bumped into someone. He quickly turned around to yell at the person for his or her stupidity when his voice disappeared. In front of him stood no other but John Watson.

"Oh god, I'm really sorry" John then said apologizing, as usual. Sherlock came back to reality and had 3 seconds to think of what to do and how to answer and then opened his mouth.

"Why are you apologizing? I'm the one who ran into you" he said in his nicest voice, trying to act normal.

"Sorry…." John then said and half smiled. "I should have kept my eyes on where I was going"

"Don't worry about it. It was mostly my fault, I wasn't even looking forward" John then stared at Sherlock which made him nervous. Did he remember him?

"…..have I met you before?" John then asked confused and looked at Sherlock.

"No…..I don't think so" Sherlock answered. He knew this would be for the best. Instead of trying to force him to remember he would instead start over with John, hopefully, so that his memories would return in a normal way when he was ready. "Anyway, as an excuse for bumping into you, how about buying you coffee and maybe a biscuit?"

"That would be nice" John said and smiled. Sherlock smiled back and they started walking to the nearest café. Sherlock ordered coffee to both of them and then sat down.

"Here is yours" he said, giving John his cup.

"Thank you…oh right, I forgot to ask your name"

"The name's Sherlock Holmes" Sherlock answered and then looked at John. He looked a bit thoughtful but then it went back to normal. "Yours?"

"John Watson"

"You're from London or here on vacation?"

"Born and raised in London. You?"

"Same"

"Right" John said and then it got quiet which Sherlock didn't like. They had great chemistry but since things were different now he was afraid it was all gone and John then would leave because they couldn't find anything to talk about.

"So, Mr Holmes…." John then said so Sherlock looked at him and smiled.

"Sherlock, please"

"Right, so Sherlock, if I may ask, what do you do for a living?"

"I help the police solving crimes"

"A police officer then?"

"Not really no. I'm a consultant detective, the only one in the world. I invented the job"

"So you...ok sorry, I have no idea what you are talking about. What is it exactly that you do?"

"When the police are out of their depts, which is always, they take me to the crime scene, I look at the dead body, I make deductions and then by the end of the day or at least week the police have caught the guy"

"Sounds interesting" John said and smiled in a way Sherlock has never seen before. "What can you say about me then?"

Sherlock smirked. "By the haircut and the way you hold yourself I would say you are an army doctor. You have been to war once and got yourself injured in the shoulder, that's why you hold your cup with your right arm even though you are writing with the left one. You have a tremble in your injured hand which your previous therapist thought was because you were haunted by the war. However you know yourself that you are not traumatized by it, you miss it. You are right now working as a doctor, going by the smell of your clothes, but you have a hobby were you are doing some dangerous things just to get your adrenaline going. Something you get excited about but something that won't be too risky so you instead get killed so I would say…climbing. Your hands are filled with scars that you got from the sharp edges of the mountains and they seem to be a lot bigger than the hands of a normal doctor with no hobby. And you have got the white powder on your shirt left" John's mouth hung open and he just stared at Sherlock. 'Shit! Did I say too much? Maybe he thinks I'm being a dickhead now and showing off….damn it! I shouldn't have said too much!'

"…..wow" Sherlock then heard John say and looked at him. "Just…..wow….."

"Huh?"

"You got all that, just by meeting me for 15 minutes and looking at my clothes?" Sherlock nodded. "You're a genius! That was bloody brilliant!"

"….you think so?"

"Of course it was! It was extraordinary!"

Sherlock laughed softly. "That's not what people usually say"

"What do they usually say then?" John asked and grinned.

"Piss of?" Sherlock answered so John laughed. Sherlock felt himself smiling for having this kind of conversation with John but at the same time he could feel John being different from before. He did enjoy it though, he just didn't know what kind of subjects to talk about since John seemed more straightforward than before….about a lot of things. Sherlock didn't mind though, it somehow made him feel more excited.

"So…John, you're still working as a doctor?"

"I was, until yesterday"

"What happened?" Sherlock asked without thinking. John looked at him and grinned a bit.

"The genius seems to be very straightforward yes? No delicacy?" John said and smiled.

Sherlock swallowed. "Sorry, shouldn't have asked. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I didn't mean to be rude to you"

"Actually, I didn't think it was rude. It's fine with me to tell the story. And besides…I like people who are straightforward for some reason" John smiled. Sherlock swallowed nervously but nodded. "I liked my job as a doctor and I still do. But after being in an accident two years ago I have still trouble remember things. My doctor said it's no harm done because he knew me before the accident but I feel like there's something really important thing I have forgotten and for a reason. And to search for it I worked my ass off for two years, saved up my money and then quit my job to find something else to do, to meet people and not just sick ones"

"So something happened to you two years ago?" Sherlock asked innocent.

"Yes. I just woke up one day at the hospital and they told me I had been in an accident so not remembering everything about my life or the accident was normal. But I couldn't remember where I lived which was a bit odd. And I met this man who said he helped me during the accident. He was wearing a suit, going a bit bald and was carrying an umbrella and I just couldn't remember him at all. It made me feel weird"

"Isn't it possible that maybe you forgot something to protect you from those memories?" Sherlock asked and once again swallowed nervously. To tell the truth he didn't want to ask the question because he was afraid of the answer but he just had to. John looked at him for a while and then smiled.

"Maybe, but even so, I want to know. Because I still feel empty inside and I want to fill that hole. And to do that I'm prepared to try something new"

Sherlock smiled back. "…..you like solving crimes?"

"Huh?"

"You like solving crimes?"

"I guess?"

"I could use an assistant while solving crimes….." Sherlock said and looked at John who finally got the hint.

"….do you have a vacancy?" he asked grinning.

"I believe so yes. And if you need a new place to live my apartment has got an extra bedroom upstairs, just in case you would need it" Sherlock said which made John smile.

"Thank you Sherlock. I think I will be enjoying your company from now on"

"Same here John"


	3. Chapter 3

**I remember you, chapter 3**

The next day Sherlock met John again at a café to talk a bit more about his work and how John could help him. Sherlock tried not to release the normal him who insults everyone and brags about things so that John wouldn't run away. He really wanted their friendship to go back to the way it was before he lost his memory…..and maybe even further. Or at least Sherlock wished for that. He had realized his feelings for John the day before. He knew that John had always had a special part in his heart as a friend which is why Sherlock pretended to kill himself and go away for two years just to protect him. However yesterday when he met him again he felt himself being nervous around him and way more interested in him than before. He now knew that he liked him, more than a friend and therefore wanted to take things slow to not scare him away. He knew John wasn't the usual John Watson he had known but he still hoped that they could get back their friendship.

"So…..how do you get these cases of yours?" John asked while taking a sip of his coffee.

"DI Lestrade often calls or texts me about it and the place to go. He's the least irritating guy there" John laughed softly.

"So…..your least irritating DI texts you that there's been a murder somewhere, you go there, look at the body and then goes after the guy who did it?"

"Quite right"

"Sounds interesting, when do I start and what will be my job?" Sherlock looked shocked for two seconds before grinning slightly.

"Your job will be to help me find clues, writing down my deductions, help me find the bad guy and help me with the talking"

"The talking?" John then asked confused.

"To tell the truth, I'm not very good at talking to other people. I often say the wrong things at the wrong timing so I would like if you kept an eye on me for that and gave me a warning when I say the wrong things"

"But you are having a conversation with me right now, without any trouble, or at least I think so"

"Well…..you are easy to talk to"

John smiled. "Thank you. And so are you" Sherlock gave him a shy smile back. It then became quiet before John broke the silence. "So...might a bit of a personal question but have you got a girlfriend at the moment?"

Sherlock just looked at him. This reminded him of the first time he met John before at the restaurant where John had asked him the same question. He cleared his throat. "No I have not. Not really my area" He then looked at John who was looking at him. He felt his body twitch and his body temperature rising by John looking at him like that. He then saw John smile at him, however this smile was more of a grin.

"If you're not busy later today, would you like to watch a movie with me? I was planning on watching a movie called 'The Imitation Game', it came out yesterday"

"Um….I guess. Wow I haven't been back in London for a few years so I haven't seen the latest movies at all"

"Really?" Sherlock nodded. "Where were you then during those years?"

Sherlock gave himself a mental kick. He couldn't possibly tell John the truth. "Um…well….working"

"Working? What did you do?"

"You know…same job as I do now, just in another country"

"I see. Well, if you haven't watched the movies that came out the past 2 years you have missed something. So instead of going to the cinema today, how about watching movies at my place? I won't be able to move in at your flat for another month because of my contract so you could see what it looks like. If you would like to…."

"Yeah, sure. Sounds good to me" Sherlock said. However he felt himself go nervous. The new John was very different from the old one he used to know. This John Watson was more straightforward, didn't seem to have any trouble talking about emotions and he was somehow intense. It turned Sherlock on and he tried thinking of other things.

They finished their coffee and went back to John's flat. It was a bit far away so John suggested they took a cab which Sherlock agreed to. When they entered the flat he looked around. The flat was not as big as he thought. He had a small living room, a bathroom and the kitchen was attached to his living room. In the middle of the living room stood a sofa with a TV in front of it and in the corner was a small bed.

"It's not much but I like it" John then said so Sherlock looked at him.

"I have no complaints" he said and smiled a bit. John smiled back and then went to where his TV stood and pulled out a pretty big box.

"So, what do you want to watch? I have got a bit of a collection in here so choose something you think you might be interested in and we'll watch it"

Sherlock started going through the box. He found some Harry Potter movies, The Lord of The Rings, old comedy movies and his eyes focused on one he didn't recognize. "What's this?"

"Oh that? That's 'The Hobbit'. You haven't seen it?" Sherlock shook his head. "Then let's watch it! Two movies have already come out on DVD and the third part will come out next month so I thought I would go and see it. It's really interesting, lovely story as well and it has mostly everything. Action, humour, drama, you name it"

"What is it about?"

"It's about this Hobbit, Bilbo who gets a visit by a wizard and a bunch of dwarves who asks him to go with them on an adventure. It's all fantasy really. You get to see dwarves, elves, wizards, monsters and hobbits. I really like Bilbo, I can see myself in him sometimes. And also I love the dragon from the second movie, Smaug. Amazing voice and really good work on creating him. You want to watch it?"

"Yeah why not" Sherlock answered. John started the first movie and then sat down on the sofa. However his sofa was quite small in size so Sherlock had to sit very close to John when watching the movie which made him nervous. Before he had always been able to keep his cool and be his normal self in front of John even though he knew deep inside that he wanted him but now he acted like a teenage boy in his girlfriend's house just before sex.

"Sherlock?" he then heard John say and snapped back to reality.

"Huh?"

"You were spacing out, everything alright?"

"Yeah, just fine" They sat the rest of the time in silent watching the movie. When it finished John turned off the DVD and sat down on the sofa.

"So, what did you think? It was only the first part of the movie but still, I'm curious" Before Sherlock could answer he heard a noise coming from his stomach and noticed that he was hungry. John also seemed to have heard it and laughed softly. "Hungry?" Sherlock smiled shyly and nodded. "How about going out for dinner? I know a good place nearby"

"Sounds good" They stood up and put on their jackets before leaving the flat. On their way to the restaurant they talked about different things and laughed. However they both stopped walking when they heard a woman behind them.

"Sherlock!" someone called. He turned around and saw his good friend Molly waving at him. He smiled and waved back. Molly smiled back and ran up to the both of them. "I thought I recognized that coat from behind and the curly hair"

Sherlock smiled and then he remembered that John was with him. "Um, John Watson, meet my friend and colleague Molly Hooper. She works at Bart's hospital and is in control of all the dead bodies from the cases I have. She helps me with some information"

John looked at Molly and smiled. "Pleased to meet you Molly"

Sherlock then looked at Molly who smiled back. "Likewise John" Seems that Mycroft had told her about what happened. "So, what do you do for a living then John?"

"I used to work as a doctor but I quit a while ago and from next week I plan on helping Sherlock with solving cases. Sounds really interesting"

"Sounds brilliant. Sherlock could really use an assistant while working. He has a tendency of getting himself in trouble for some reason" Molly said and smirked a bit at Sherlock who glared at her.

"Oh, no worries. If he gets caught up in any trouble I promise to help him as best as I can" John said and gave Molly a quick wink.

"Now, Sherlock, may I talk to you for 5 minutes in private maybe?" Sherlock looked at her and nodded.

"Just one second John" he said and followed Molly a few meters away. "What?"

"Sherlock, when did you meet him again?"

"A few days ago in town, I bumped into him. Then as an apology I bought him some coffee and we started talking. He got interested in my work and wanted to be a part of it. Then we met again today to talk about what it was that I exactly did before going to his place to watch a movie and now heading out to dinner, why?"

Molly smiled and shook her head. "Nothing, just wondered. I hope everything goes alright with him and that he gets his memory back. If you're in Bart's sometime come and visit me ok? And bring him as well. But now I have to go, nice seeing you again Sherlock and say hi to John from me will you?" Sherlock nodded before she turned around and walked away. He shrugged before returning to where John stood.

"Sorry, she just wanted to talk about something private. She also wanted me to say hi to you again from her and that she hopes to see you sometimes"

"She seemed like a really nice person"

"She is" John smiled.

"Shall we go then?" Sherlock nodded.

They arrived at the restaurant after a while and Sherlock froze. This was the restaurant they had visited on their first case together. Sherlock however didn't say anything, instead he just followed behind John and went inside the restaurant. Sherlock seemed to have luck on his side since the waiter who he had helped before was still working there but he didn't react the way he did before. He then figured out that Mycroft must have threatened all the people who had met John that if they saw him they had to promise not to react.

They ate in peace while talking about different things and then paid for their meal. Once again they stood outside the restaurant.

"So, what now?" Sherlock asked.

"Well, you said before that there were a lot of things you have never done in your life so why don't we try to do some of it?"

"Yeah, why not"

"Have you even been on a date?" John then asked suddenly so Sherlock froze.

"W-Well…..not really….no"

"Then let's go on a date. I know a few things you can do on a date. We have already had dinner together which could count as a small part of the date so let's go ice skating"

"Huh? Ice skating? Why?"

John grinned. "Because I can bet 10 quid you have never ice skated before, besides this is a date and ice skating is fun. So shut up and follow me" He grabbed Sherlock's hand and started dragging him towards the ice skating ring.

Sherlock stood against the wall of the ice skating ring trying to keep himself steady and not to fall down on the ice. However it was not the easiest thing to do since he was wearing skates for the first time in his life. He was glad it was quite late though since there were hardly any people there so no one really noticed him.

John then went to where he was standing and stopped. "Sherlock, you ok?"

"Look at how I am standing and make a deduction" Sherlock said a bit angry. John only laughed.

"Come on, it's not that hard you know. Here, you can hold my hands while I teach you"

"Why do people even do this? You look like a bloody pengwing in these skates and with your legs like that. What's the fun in this?"

"Penguin Sherlock. Besides penguins are cute, now come on. I will teach you how to skate so that you can enjoy it to like the rest of us" Sherlock looked at him skeptical. "Promise, now come on" Sherlock hesitated a bit before taking his hands. "Now, just try to walk like a penguin while pushing your feet forward and take it slow so you won't fall"

It was a bit difficult in the beginning but after a few steps Sherlock managed to understand how to work the feet. Now came the next problem, the balance.

"Bend your knees a bit, it will help you to keep the balance better" John said while still holding his hands. Sherlock listened to his advice but just as he bent his knees his control went away and he stumbled forward and landed on top of John who was lying on the ice.

"I'm so sorry, a -" Sherlock said but then noticed how close his face was to John's and blushed. John looked straight back into his eyes but none of them moved. Sherlock was almost lying completely on top of John with both his hands next to John's shoulders. He had one leg between John's thighs and since John was leaning on his shoulders to keep his head from the ice their faces were inches apart. Sherlock had never been this close to anyone, especially not John even though he had wanted it. He looked really deep into John's eyes and they stayed like that for what seemed like ages, but was only a minute or so until Sherlock realized the position they were in and quickly got up. However as he tried to stand up his balance was corrupted and he once again fell to the ice, this time bum first. John had then gotten himself up and giggled a bit at Sherlock's clumsiness before stand in front of him and reaching out a hand.

"Here, I'll help you up"

Sherlock who was getting embarrassed about falling down twice had to swallow the last of his pride and accept John's help. He grabbed his hand but before he could do anything else John pulled him up quickly and grabbed hold of Sherlock's waist to make sure he didn't fall down again. Once again their faces were only a few inches apart.

"I've got you. You alright?" John asked. Sherlock gave himself a mental kick so he could open his mouth and actually talk and not keep staring at John's beautiful eyes or lips.

"Uh….yeah. Thank you" Sherlock said and coughed to cover his red cheeks.

"Anytime Sherlock. Can you stand on your own 2 legs or should I pull us from the ice like this?"

"I-I think I can manage" Sherlock answered. John then nodded and removed his arm from Sherlock's waist. Sherlock immediately regretted his decision. It had actually felt good to be that close to John and his skating was still beginner's level. He then noticed John beside him holding out his hand to him.

"Here, hold my hand and I will get us back to safety so we can get out of here" Sherlock nodded and grabbed it. John then carefully skated the two of them back to safety as he called it and they changed back into their normal shoes. Sherlock groaned at the pain after having his feet inside those skates and was glad to put on his own shoes back on. When they went outside it was dark and John then looked at his watch. "Wow, it's already over 10 pm. We should probably head home"

"Yeah…." Sherlock said and then gathered some courage. "John"

"Hm?"

"I would just like to thank you for a lovely day and an amusing date. Are you by any chance free tomorrow?"

John smiled. "I am. Something on your mind?"

"Well, I thought maybe you would like to come to Baker Street where I live and see what your room will look like? We have still got a month left until you move but I thought you might want to have a look at it before moving in. You will also be able to meet our landlady Mrs Hudson"

"I would like that. Shall we say 1 pm then?" John asked and Sherlock nodded. He then stopped two cabs and got inside the first. Just as John was heading for the other Sherlock's voice stopped him.

"Oh and by the way, the address is 221B Baker Street. Don't be late" Sherlock said and grinned before the cab drove away. John watched as the cab drove away before hopping into his own. On his way home he couldn't help but smile.


	4. Chapter 4

**I remember you chapter 4**

The next day John stood outside the door on 221B Baker Street exactly at 1pm and knocked on the door. The door opened and there stood a woman. At first she looked shocked to see him but then smiled.

"Mrs Hudson I presume?" John asked.

"Correct"

"My name's John Watson, I'm here to meet Sherlock Holmes"

"Yes of course. Come on inside dear" she stood behind the door so John could come inside. She shut the door behind him and then turned to him. "He's upstairs, you can just walk inside, don't bother knocking dear. He doesn't react to it anyway if he's concentrating on something" John laughed softly.

"I will remember that and thank you for the information Mrs Hudson" he said and then walked upstairs. He did as Mrs Hudson said and just walked inside. He looked around but saw no one until he carefully looked inside the kitchen. Sherlock was sitting on a chair looking through some kind of experiment and he was concentrating so much he hadn't even noticed John arriving. John grinned and walked back out and opened the door that went directly into the kitchen and now stood behind Sherlock. He still didn't react. John then carefully leaned his lips close to Sherlock's ear and blew some air into it. Sherlock flew up from his chair in surprise, hit the chair so it fell to the floor and then stumbled over it to land on his back against the floor.

"Bloody hell John! Why did you do that for?" Sherlock shrieked. John on the other hand couldn't stop laughing. Sherlock's reaction had just been too funny and playing it over and over again in his head made John cry of laughter on the floor. It took him a few minutes to recover but when he did he looked at Sherlock who was still on the floor.

"God that was brilliant and bloody hilarious" John said and wiped tears away from his eyes. Sherlock glared at him and John grinned. "You ok?"

"…I'm fine"

John then helped Sherlock stand up. He brushed off dirt from his clothes before looking at John. He looked different today somehow. It wasn't his clothes, they were the same as before. His hair looked the same as always. Sherlock concentrated and then he noticed.

"Have you changed your aftershave?" he then suddenly asked before he could stop himself. John looked surprised at first but then smiled.

"Wow, you even notice small things as well. I'm really impressed I must say. And yes I have changed it. You don't like it?"

"No no no, it's fine, really. I just…..you know….noticed a different smell…..I hadn't smelled before" he answered and then realized how weird that sounded and gave himself a mental kick to work on his excuses. John only kept on smiling.

"So, if you are done with your experiment, want to show me around the flat?"

"Sure" Sherlock said and took him to the living room. "The living room, as you probably can see for yourself. Looks cold but it's actually quite warm during the winter"

"How warm?" Sherlock paused, trying to come up with an answer. "Walk-around-only-in-your-pants warm or pajama-with-socks warm?" Sherlock then got the image of John walking around in the flat only in his pants and shook his head to get rid of it.

"Um…well….probably pajama warm"

"Sounds good enough" John said and smiled. Sherlock coughed. He then went to the kitchen.

"The kitchen. Mrs Hudson often helps us with buying groceries. But I should warn you, I can keep stuff around for my experiments so if you see human body parts in the fridge, microwave or so, just ignore it"

"No worries"

Sherlock then showed him his own bedroom, the bathroom and then they finally arrived upstairs where John's room was. He opened the door and let John step inside.

"And this, would be your room. I asked Mrs Hudson to keep it tidy when I moved in just in case"

John smiled and started looking around. There was a big bed, a closet and a lot of other things he could use. "I love it. It's perfect"

Just then Sherlock felt his phone vibrating and looked at it. "Text from Lestrade" John then looked at him interested. "White woman found dead in building. Murder possibility high"

"Where is it?" John asked.

"Near Cumberland Terrace"

"Then what are we waiting for?" John said so Sherlock grinned. They quickly grabbed their coats and went outside.

"Taxi!" Sherlock called and a cab stopped in front of them. They got in and the cab drove away. Sherlock didn't really think before until he realized that this was their first case together and sitting this close to each other in the cab might have been a bad idea. He wanted John to get his memory back but somehow he at the same time felt he wanted to get to know this new version of him. So sitting together like this in the cab might make his memory come back. Sherlock therefore sat nervous watching John during their ride but noticing he didn't say anything about it he dropped it and relaxed again.

They got out of the cab and outside the building stood DI Lestrade, waiting for them. He saw them and waved.

"Sherlock, over here!" They went to where he was and when he saw John he looked a bit confused. Sherlock noticed.

"Right. John Watson, meet DI Graham-"

"Greg"

"-Greg Lestrade. Lestrade, John Watson. My new assistant who will work with me on every case from now on"

"Pleasure to meet you Greg" John said and put out his hand to him. Lestrade smiled and shook his hand.

"Same here John"

"So, where's the dead body?" Sherlock said and smiled.

After 45 minutes of checking the dead body, making deductions and getting yelled at by Anderson because of lack of respect against him Sherlock now found himself outside the building once again with John.

"What do we do now?" Sherlock started thinking.

"Well, Scotland Yard will probably go around asking her closest friends and relatives if they know anything so I thought we could visit her office to see if there is anything hidden there that might lead us to the killer"

"And what makes you suspect the killer is one of her own colleagues?" Sherlock then looked at John shocked while John grinned. "What? Hearing your deductions in there helped me thinking as well. Married but a lot of receipts from hotels inside her wallet which is odd. So I guess you believe that she might have had an affair with someone and where's the easiest place to find it but at work?"

Sherlock cleared his throat. "Excellent deductions John. Now let's get moving shall we?"

They arrived at the victim's office not more than 20 minutes later and went inside. They were greeted by the receptionist.

"Good evening gentlemen, how may I help you?" Sherlock looked at John and he looked back while smiling an evil smile. Sherlock approached the receptionist.

"I have come here from Scotland Yard, the name's Lestrade" He showed his police ID quickly. "This is my colleague Mr Anderson. We have received information that somewhere inside this building there might be a bomb hidden. We do not know where or who has been targeted but right now I would like everyone to stay calm so if anyone would ask what we are doing, lie to them and tell them we are from a computer company or something like it. No one can know, this must be top secret" The receptionist swallowed nervously but nodded. She then gave them keys to enter all places in the building and they started walking towards the elevator.

"Hidden bomb inside the building?" John asked while grinning.

"If I told them I was a detective they would never let me in so I often use Lestrade's badge and come up with a white lie so I can get inside. This is one of his old police badges that I took from him maybe 3 years ago or so. He still don't know I carry this"

"I see…But why did I have to be Anderson? Couldn't you come up with a better name than that?"

"I don't know what you are talking about" He looked innocent which made John grin.

"You're so full of shit"

They found the victim's office and went inside with the help of their key. Her office was in the corner of the building. She had large windows but the blinds were down so no one could look inside from the outside. Her door was thick and the walls even thicker to prevent any sounds to reach the outside. She even had a lock on the door.

Sherlock started to look around after clues and John tried to help him. He started looking in draws and around her computer when he found something.

"Sherlock?"

"Hm?" He went to where John was standing.

"This?" He gave Sherlock a piece of paper. It was a note, dated a week ago. "I guess she had company in here?"

"Going by the thick walls and all, yes"

"And it became ugly?"

"Probably" Sherlock then sat down by her computer and hacked into her e-mails. He started going through them carefully before finding the piece of evidence he needed. He printed them out and put them in his pocket. "So, let's go meet the killer" John nodded. The exited the room, locked it, walked three rooms down the corridor and knocked on the door.

"Yes, come in"

"Miss Ginny Smith?"

"Yes, that's me. How may I help you?"

"I'm DI Lestrade from the Scotland Yard. This afternoon the body of your boss, Mrs Dolores Underhill was found inside an abandoned building. We are treating this case as suspicious and therefore we would like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind?"

"No…..of course not"

"Then, my partner here Mr Watson will ask you a few questions about the victim" Sherlock said and John looked at him.

"Me?"

"Sorry Miss Smith but he started this job today. Now Mr Watson, take out paper and pen so you can take notes and then ask Miss Smith about the victim"

"Right…..sure" He cleared his throat, found a small notebook in his jacket along with a pen and then sat down. "So…..when did you last see Mrs Underhill?"

"Yesterday morning, during the meeting. We needed to discuss the new launch of one of our products so Dolores sent us all an e-mail as soon as she got here and around 9 am we gathered at the meeting room"

"I see" John said and pretended to take notes. Instead he carefully followed Sherlock with his eyes and noticed him looking around. It then hit him. "How was Mrs Underhill acting during the day? Anything about her that had changed during the past week or so?"

"No, nothing at all. She acted like she always did" John nodded and once again pretended to take notes.

"Sorry to interrupt-" Sherlock then suddenly said. "—but I just have to ask. Miss Smith, that necklace you are wearing is beautiful. It's my girlfriend's birthday soon and I think she would love a necklace just like that. Where did you buy it? How much was it?"

She looked down at her necklace and smiled. "Oh this? Sorry can't tell you. It was a gift so I don't even know myself"

"It looks really expensive, the person who gave it to you must be really into you"

"You think so?"

"I do, since you are sleeping with Mrs Underhill" Miss Smith froze and John looked at Sherlock interested about what would happen next.

"Excuse me? Me sleeping with Mrs Underhill? That's absurd"

"Oh is it really? I don't believe so. That necklace you are wearing was given to you by Mrs Underhill as a gift, probably a one year celebration or birthday gift. It's a very special custom made pearl necklace, only one store in London makes those and the cheapest one is 1000£. I found a receipt for a necklace like yours costing 1500£ in Mrs Underhill's drawer. A bit odd to give a co-worker a necklace for that kind of amount, don't you think? So obviously you were closer than that, you were lovers. Mrs Underhill was married but probably fell in love with you here at work. You accepted her feelings but didn't return the affection. You knew that Mrs Underhill was married to a wealthy man and since she was just beneath the CEO she had a lot of money. Of course, this was your target. You pretended to like her back just to have her buy things for you that you couldn't with your own salary. Assistants' don't have that good salaries so how is it that you have a Rolex watch, a Dolce &amp; Gabana bag, that necklace and a coat from Harrods? Easy, you got them from Mrs Underhill as gifts. However after some time she must have found out that you were only playing with her feelings and wanted it all back. I assume you got angry and for some reason killed her"

Miss Smith's face had turned emotionless except for a little smile. "I love money and I love brands. She had the money so of course I used her. The idiot confessed her love to me so why say no when she had so much money she could buy me a new car? We started going out but after a few months she started getting suspicious about my feelings for her. She found out my purpose and threatened to fire me, plus she wanted all of the gifts back. I refused so when she said she would go to the police I managed to calm her down and told her we would talk about it. We met inside the building, I hid and when she showed up I grabbed the nearest sharp thing I could find and stabbed her with it. She died faster than I thought so I took the money from her wallet along with her cell phone to make it look like a robbery and then left" she said with her face completely emotionless. "She deserved it"

Sherlock was out of character now and just looked at her. He then heard people's footsteps getting closer. "But now you are going to pay for what you did and you will lose everything you own. Come on John, let's go" Just as John stood up the door opened and in came Lestrade with three police officers. They arrested the woman and Sherlock gave Lestrade all the evidence he had found in the victim's office before he and John went outside. They saw the police cars drive away and breathed out.

"You ok?" Sherlock looked at John.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be? I just witnessed you catching a murderer and putting her behind bars"

Sherlock smiled. "I guess so"

"But never call me Mr Anderson again or I will hit you"

"Sorry" They both laughed together. "So, you think you will be able to handle this kind of lifestyle?"

"No worries" He grinned. "You looked really sexy in there you know"

"What?"

"I said you looked sexy" John said and grabbed Sherlock's butt playfully. Sherlock blushed deep red. "It's getting late so let's head home. You have my number so if there's a case call me. If not, call me anyway" John gave Sherlock a wink before turning around and walked home. Just then Sherlock's brain finally started working again. He thought of what John had said and done and realized that he had been flirted with him. Sherlock didn't want to show it but deep down he was jumping with joy. However he was still nervous. He had wanted this more than anything for quite some time now but he was still scared. He was a virgin and had never had a relationship before so he was afraid of making a mistake there if they started dating. Also what if John's memory suddenly came back and he went back to being 'straight John' and was disgusted by Sherlock being gay? He wanted John to remember him and the fun times they had together before but at the same time he wanted John to stay this way. Thinking of him in a naughty way and being more straightforward.

He decided to stop worrying about these things now and started going back home. The only thing he could think about now was about calling John as soon as possible and therefore hoped to get a new case within 5 minutes.


	5. Chapter 5

I am soooo sorry for taking so long to publish this chapter! :( I have had a few problems and my computer just broke down T_T Hopefully I will write the next chapter soon!

* * *

A month passed. John had finally moved in with Sherlock and had started helping him more during all the cases. Sherlock was the usual him, had body parts in the fridge, doing weird experiments when he was bored and sometimes didn't sleep at all because of his cases. Of course he didn't mind but John would always be worried about him not sleeping or eating so he tried to be more careful. And having John around all the time made him happy, especially since he was different from before. Sherlock liked the new John but even though John flirted with him sometimes he couldn't really be happy about it since he didn't know if his memories would return or not. But after speaking to Molly about the whole situaton he had decided to throw away his worries and instead go after how John acted. If he flirted then Sherlock would try his best to flirt back. He knew he wanted him, a lot, but how to get him, that was the difficult part. John had seem open about it from the beginning when they had met again so hopefully they could become something.

"Sherlock, are you dressed yet? The party starts in an hour, we have to leave soon" John said. Just then the door to Sherlock's bedroom opened and he came out fully dressed except for his tie. "You don't look very happy?" He grinned while Sherlock looked like he was about to throw up.

"I know they are our friends but I still don't like social parties. It's a very uncomfortable situation for me. Besides why are we having this party anyway?" Sherlock said while trying to fix his tie. John laughed and helped him.

"Because it's Christmas in just 2 weeks and some of them are going out of town and we are friends so we want to meet and give each other presents and spend time together"

"…still not convinced to go" John laughed again. "I don't have any plans for Christmas so why bother really?"

John raised an eyebrow. "You don't celebrate Christmas?"

"I used to back home but after that it's become more of a burden. I just stay at home, do some experiments and then go to bed mostly. When Mrs Hudson is around she can sometimes bake some Christmas biscuits but other than that…..no"

"So you don't have a date to spend time with this year?"

"No"

"Then let's spend Christmas together, you and me. I live here and I don't have any plans either. Mrs Hudson will stay at her sister's for more than 2 weeks so let's hang out" Sherlock looked at John who smiled. But before he could answer John opened his mouth again. "Now we are both dressed so let's go to the party before Molly calls us asking where we are" They put on their coats and went to the party.

All their friends had gathered together to spend Christmas a bit early. They were chatting, drinking and just having fun. Sherlock had managed by drinking alcohol and looking at John most of the evening. When he noticed that both him and John had too much to drink he excused them from the party and took a taxi home. They somehow managed to get upstairs and sat down in their own chair.

They started flirting with each other before getting sleepy. John had tried to stand up but his balance was way off so Sherlock had to help him to his room. Before lying down on the bed John had given Sherlock a quick kiss which had caught him off guard. He had blushed scarlet red and it hadn't even been a big kiss really. It was over in a second bu the had somehow been deeply affected by it. He wasn't very good when it came to romance bu the really hoped that John was feeling the same desires he did.

The next day Sherlock had gone to Bart's hospital to do some dangerous experiments. He had a bit of a hangover from the day before but it wasn't too bad thankfully. Just then someone knocked on the door and in came John.

"I guess you saw my note?" Sherlock asked without even looking at him.

"Yeah, I saw it" Sherlock then looked up from his telescope and looked at John. He somehow seemed differnt from yesterday.

"Everything alright John?"

"Yeah, just feeling a bit sick after yesterday, quite bad hangover" he said and smiled nervously. Sherlock shrugged and let it go, he wasn't fully convinced though. "If you don't need my help with anything I thought I could head home and lay down if you don't mind?"

"No, I can handle it. You can go home"

"I forgot, I brought you this for lunch" John said and but a basket filled with sandwiches and coffee on the desk before turning around.

"Um, John" Sherlock then said so he stopped and looked back. "T-Thank you" John smiled and nodded before exiting the room.

After a few hours Sherlock had finally finished with his experiment and decided to eat the sandwiches John had brought him along with the coffee. He was still thinking about before how John had acted a bit different and that he might have regretted kissing Sherlock the day before? Or maybe he felt that Sherlock didn't have any feelings for him because he hadn't kissed him back? Anyway, he was annoyed by it but couldn't do anything about it at the moment.

He then felt his phone vibrating and looked at it, he had gotten a text from John. "_My collegue from the hospital called me and said it's chaos in a hospital in Brighton and he asked me if I could help out a bit. He helped me a lot before so I couldn't say no. Will start packing now and will probably stay there for a week or so. Promise I will be home before Christmas so we can spend it together JW_" Well that was odd. He had just been here a few hours before having a hideous hangover and now he would work in Brighton to help out a friend? Didn't sound right. Sherlock knew deep inside that he wanted to investigate what John had said but because he loved him he didn't want to mess anything up just in case he might have been caught in action by him.

"_Don't worry. Just don't work too much, you need your sleep and food SH_"

"_You're one to talk ;) JW_"

Mycroft sat in his office reading the newspaper just like any other morning. He had his tea on his desk and his paperwork on the other side. He enjoyed being alone in his office since he could have peace and it was quiet compared to the outside world with all the goldfishes.

"Sir?" het hen heard a voice saying and saw Anthea.

"Yes? I'm in the middle of tea Anthea"

"Sorry sir but Mr Watson is here to see you, it's urgent"

Mycroft sighed. "Fine, let him in" He put down his paper and looked at the door when it opened and saw John. He shut the door behind him. "Mr Watson, what a pleasure to see you again, please have a seat" John nodded and sat down on the chair in front of him. "So, Anthea said you had some kind of urgent business with me. What may it be?"John smiled a smile Mycroft hadn't seen before. It was somehow wicked, as if he was angry but trying to hide it.

"I thought you called me John?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You have never called me Mr Watson before. Except the first time we met, after that it was always John" Mycroft didn't say anything, he only looked at John while thinking. "I thought you were smart Mycroft, just as smart as Sherlock but maybe I was wrong? Or is it that you don't recognize me?"

It then clicked. "You have got your memories back"

John smirked. "Well, you caught on pretty quickly"

Mycroft stood up and got himself another cup of tea before sitting down again. "So, what may I help you with then? You have got your memories back so why are you here?"

"I want you to tell me how Sherlock survived the accident and what he was doing those 2 years he was away"

"And why would you think that I know about it or had anything to do with it?" Mycroft asked with an innocent voice.

"Don't lie to me Mycroft" John said with a small voice. "I got my memories back and this entire week I was gone I had nightmares about his suicide. I went to all kinds of places that me and Sherlock had been to before that which helped me get every detail back as well. I realised a lot of things during this time and that's why I have to know why and how he did it and how he spent those two years before coming back here"

Mycroft looked at John's hands, they were shaking, John was serious. He sighed. "Fine, I will tell you everything you need to know" Mycroft started telling John about Moriarty's network, the assassins, how he survived the fall and everything else that he wanted to know. "And then he came back to London and found out about you. I didn't want him to get distracted during his mission so I didn't tell him about you until then. Of course he got mad at me for it"

"Can't see why"

Mycroft looked at John unamused. "So…now what will do?"

"I will live as I did before. I know there's another side of me now and I won't deny it. Therefore I won't tell Sherlock about this until he's ready to hear it. He's acting different than before and I want to know why so I will stay the new John" He then got up and went to the door.

"What would happen if I told him?" Mycroft said. John turned around and smiled.

"I would kill you" He opened the door and walked out. Mycroft smirked.

"How amusing"

The door to 221B Baker Street opened and Sherlock sat up quickly. "Sherlock?" he heard John's voice call. After a few seconds he entered the living room and saw Sherlock sitting on the sofa. He smiled. "There you are, I called your name. Didn't you hear me?"

"Sorry, was thinking about a case" Sherlock answered. He looked at John and started deducing him. However nothing new came up. Everything was as before which he found a bit odd. It must have been true that he was working in Brighton then.

"Stop deducing me" John then said and laughed.

"Huh?"

"You have that look on your face that you have when you are deducing someone"

"I-I wasn't deducing you"

"Of course you weren't" He smirked. "Now, get dressed so we can go" Sherlock looked at John questioning. "Christmas tree? It's Christmas in 6 days and we need to find a good tree that will last so get your ass up and get dressed"

He only nodded and did as John told him. He got dressed and they went out to buy a tree. They were lucky that even though Christmas was near the salesman had a few nice trees left. They bought it and carried it home. Sherlock being Sherlock complained all the way home how riddiculous it was to pshysically carry it home when you could have it delivered. John only laughed at him.

They finally got home and brought the tree upstairs. They took off their coats and started decorating the tree. Sherlock wasn't a big fan of Christmas but the more things hed id with John like buying trees, decorating and all made him loose the hate feeling towards it. And since Sherlock was a bit weird he hung skulls, human body parts(inside a bottle filled with ice) and voodoo dolls that looked really terrifying. John didn't really mind thought since he wanted Sherlock to enjoy himself and to be honest, the tree actually looked quite good. One half traditional and the other half nothing but horror, not bad at all.

After finishing the decorations John sat down in his chair, looking at the Christmas tree. "Sherlock?"

"Hm?" he heard Sherlock say from the kitchen.

"Honestly I don't want to know but I feel I just have to ask, where did you get the body parts?"

Sherlock walked into the living room, passing a cup of tea to John and then sitting down in his own chair with his while smiling. "Sometimes from my homeless network, sometimes from Molly, depending on what experiments I am doing" John giggled at the answer.

"I see, I shouldn't ask more, don't really need the details about all of your experiments"

They then just sat in the living room and drank their tea before Sherlock broke the silence. "So…..it's Christmas in 6 days, what do we do now?"

"Well, if you haven't bought any presents yet people usually do that. You can also sit at home relaxing, watching Christmas movies or listen to Christmas music to get into the mood. Depends on what kind of person you are"

"How about you then? What would you want to do?"

"Me? I would like to take you out on a second date" He then heard Sherlock coughing. He was trying to catch his breathe, probably drank tea and choked on it. John smirked and went to where he was sitting and kneeled in front of him. "We have been flirting since the first day we met, I took you on your first date, which I was serious about so I feel it's time for the second date now. Unless you don't want to?" Sherlock was afraid his voice would give him away so he only shook his head. "Great. Let's go tomorrow then. Be ready downstairs at 11 am" Sherlock nodded. "Good" He then stood up, kissed Sherlock easy on the lips before going to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Sherlock sat frozen in his chair and didn't move until his brain came back. He then removed his hands that have been on his legs hiding his hard on during the conversation and sighed. He was so hard now that it hurt. He stood up and went into his room and shut the door. Hopefully he could get rid of it before bed and without John hearing him from the bathroom. He took off his trousers and boxers and sat down on the bed. His hard on was touching his stomach and already leaking precum. Just before he was going to touch himself the door opened.

"Sherlock I th….." John stopped when he saw Sherlock on the bed. Sherlock quickly grabbed the duvet and covered himself while turning red. John only smiled sweetly, went inside the room and shut the door behind him, also locking it. "Can I look?"

"W-What?"

John kneeled down in front of Sherlock and looked up on him. "I remember you told me a while ago that there was a lot of things you had never done, including ice scating and all. Ever gotten a hand job?"

"N-No. B-But really, you don't have to. I mean….um….I can take care of it" Sherlock was glowing red in his face. John smiled. He had never seen Sherlock this way and it was turning him on. His virgin side was showing and he was really cute but as most of them also nervous. He therefore put his hands on Sherlock's thighs which made Sherlock jump.

"It's fine, I would prefer to give you a blow job since it's a lot better but since I want to go slow when it comes to you I want to give you a hand job. Will you let me do it?" Sherlock swallowed but nodded slightly. John smiled. "Close your eyes, you will feel more by doing that" Sherlock did as he was told. John then removed the duvet from his private parts, helped Sherlock to lie down on the bed completely naked before lying down next to him. "I'm going to start now, you ok?" Sherlock nodded but John could see that he was nervous. He spit on his hand before carefully grabbing Sherlock's cock which made Sherlock gasp. John kept an eye on Sherlock's face while moving his hand up and down carefully. He could hear Sherlock's breathing speeding up and therefore starting to move his hand faster. To make it even better he used his other hand to play with Sherlock's right nipple. Sherlock's entire body shivered at the touch and he started moaning out loudly.

"Oh god….John…..I…."

"It's ok, just relax and feel it. If you want to come then come. Tell me how you want it" John whispere close to his ear in the sexiest voice he could. Sherlock grabbed the bedsheets and moaned loudly.

"Faster….John….please" John started moving his hand faster and replaced his other hand with his mouth. He started licking Sherlock's nipple and biting it which made Sherlock growl out. He gasped and John could hear his breathing becoming faster and faster. He was close. "Please John…..more….it feels…..so goooood….oh god!"

John leaned down to his ear again. "Come for me beautiful" That was all it took. Sherlock screamed John's name and the cum spurted out from his cock onto the bed, his torso and over John's hand. He collapsed on the bed and opened his eyes. His vision was blurry from the violent orgasm he just had but finally he could see John looking at him.

"T…Thank….you" he breathed out. John smiled. He stood up and got out of the room. Sherlock first thought he just left him like that but then he heard him come back inside. He had brought a towel with him and started cleaning of Sherlock, his hand and some parts of the bed. When finished he put the duvet on Sherlock. Sherlock was exhausted from their activity and had already fallen asleep which made John smile. He kissed his forehead sweetly.

"Sweet dreams my love"


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning Sherlock got up just as any other day. Except for the fact that he was naked and right then the night before hit him. John had given him a hand job and he had enjoyed it to 100%. He felt happy about the whole situation but at the same time nervous. John did say that he wanted to do it to him. Was he telling the truth or if not what was he playing at? He knew John had flirted with him since they had met again and even went on a date together.

'Date' Sherlock thought and suddenly he remembered, the date with John! He flew out of bed and looked at the time, 10.30 am. He had to get ready in 30 minutes. He decided to stop thinking about how John felt so he could concentrate on other things for now. He would have another chance again to think about it or maybe even ask him about it but that was not now.

He went into the bathroom, took a quick shower, back inside his room again and got dressed. He still had 20 minutes. He went into the kitchen and jumped when he saw John sitting by the table looking at him.

"Morning" John said and smiled.

"Good morning John" Sherlock answered and went over to grab a cup of tea for himself.

"You slept well last night. I think you needed it"

"Needed what? The sleep?"

"No, the hand job" Sherlock choked on his tea once again which made John laugh. "What I am saying is that every human being needs release once in a while. It helps you relax and since you had a very deep sleep last night I just guessed you needed it badly. You don't masturbate often do you?" Sherlock blushed at how open John was about this subject. Before he wouldn't even mention the word masturbate. Sherlock cleared his throat. "You ready to go?"

"Go?"

"The date?"

"Oh, yes. Just need to grab a few things from my room"

"What will you do about breakfast? You haven't eaten anything"

"I'll manage" Sherlock turned around to go to his room when a hand stopped him. He turned back to John who smiled. He then put a plate on the table. On the plate lay pancakes, still hot. Sherlock looked questioning at John.

"I cooked this morning. I made for myself and since I thought you would sleep late I cooked these for you since I knew you would skip breakfast. Eat" Sherlock didn't argue. He just sat down and started eating his breakfast. Actually quite impressed by John and how he had changed during this time. He still hadn't recovered his memories but maybe this was enough? John was more open, seemed to be at least a bit interested in him and he was just….different, in a good way. Maybe he should stop thinking about the past and just try to live in the present? He knew he wanted John in many ways and maybe John was thinking the same way as he was? He could only hope. However, even though Sherlock was 28 he was still a virgin. He had never had sex, never been in a relationship with either a man or a woman so all these feelings were confusing him. He had no idea what to do in situations like this or what to say which of course annoyed him like hell.

"Sherlock?" he then heard a voice say and snapped back to reality.

"Hm?"

"You were staring. Were you thinking about anything special? Like me perhaps?"

Sherlocked coughed. "Just thinking about different things" He put away his plate, grabbed some things from his room before putting on the coat and walking outside where John was waiting.

"You ready?" Sherlock nodded. John smiled and stopped a cab. The cab drove away and Sherlock couldn't stop looking at John.

"So….are you going to tell me what we will do today?"

John grinned. "No. It will be a surprise so just go with it"

The cab stopped and they got out. Sherlock looked confused at John. "A game center?"

"Yeah"

"…..Why?" Sherlock then realised his voice had sounded a bit annoying. "Um…not that I don't like it, just curious why you chose it"

John smiled. "Well, it might not be something very new for you but I thought this time we could just have fun together. Besides I think you are the type of person who likes these kind of games" Sherlock smiled and followed John inside.

They started playing all kind of games, shooting games, car racing games and whatever they could find. Challenging each other was the most fun part according to John since he would touch Sherlock's thigh just before the finish line so Sherlock would crash his car and John would win. Of course Sherlock blushed scarlet red at the feeling but tried to hide it, which of course was impossible.

After three hours they walked outside. John once again grabbed a cab and they ended up at the cinema. John let Sherlock decide which movie he wanted to see which was 'The Imitation Game', bought the tickets, the snacks and went inside to sit down. When it got dark Sherlock could feel a hand on his thigh, very close to his private parts and he gasped while blushing. He could almost hear John grin at his reaction but let him keep his hand there. They sat furthest back and there weren't that many customers this time of hour so John decided to have some fun. He knew he had paid for the tickets but he felt he couldn't keep his hands of Sherlock. During one very dark scene John leaned his head towards Sherlock's and started licking at his ear. Sherlock put a hand over his mouth so no one could hear him moan. John started biting gently before going down to his neck and started sucking. Sherlock had to bite his fingers not too moan out too loudly, there were a few people in the audience but still too many not to cover his mouth. He didn't want anyone else noticing the amazing things John was doing to him. Suddenly he felt a hand on his groin which made him jump. John started pressing his hand against Sherlock's groin, massaging it slowly. Sherlock couldn't help but moving his hips against the hand which made John grin. He gripped Sherlock's cock through his trousers and started moving his hand up and down the best he could while focusing on the movie so no one could notice his movements.

Suddenly a hand was on his, stopping his movements. He looked at Sherlock through the dark, seeing his flushed cheeks and watery eyes. "Please stop….or else I am going to come" Sherlock whispered with a heavy breathing. John grinned and leaned against him.

"That's the point" He continued moving his hand until he felt Sherlock's entire body shudder and a silent cry from his mouth. The trousers were wet, he had come. "Felt good?" Sherlock only nodded slightly. "Good, I brought a change of clothes for you just in case this would happen. You can change in the bathroom later, now let's keep watching the movie"

John removed his hand from his groin and grabbed his hand instead, lacing their fingers together and kept it that way until the movie was over. They waited until the rest of the audience had left the room before John took Sherlock to the bathroom where he cleaned himself up and changed clothes. Sherlock admitted it had felt really good and he realised that having sex or doing other sexual stuff in public set him off. He was still thinking about John though. This was the second time something had happened between them but they hadn't really discussed it properly.

"Sherlock? You ok in there?" John knocked on the bathroom door.

"I'll be out in a minute" The door finally opened and out stepped Sherlock in a new outfit. He was wearing tight black jeans, a purple shirt, a black vest and hit coat. He looked at John and saw him licking his lips.

"Ready to go to the next place?"

"There's more?"

"The last place. I think we both are hungry so time for dinner, unless you want to go home?"

Sherlock swallowed. "No, dinner sounds good"

They spent another 2 hours having dinner and just talking. Sherlock wanted to talk about more private things but with so many people around them it was impossible. He really had a nice time though. The food was excellent, the company was really nice and knowing he had to talk to John later he decided to drink some wine which tasted sweet. He really needed to relax and what could be better than alcohol?

They finished their dinner, paid and took a cab home. Sherlock felt relaxed thanks to the wine and brave which was good because asking this needed courage.

"John…" Sherlock said as soon as they had sat down in their chairs.

"Yes Sherlock?"

"Do you like me?" He could see John was a bit taken back by the question but then smiled.

"I do"

"Why?"

"Because meeting you was the best thing that happened to me. You are an amazing human being, you are smart, very sexy and probably one of the nicest people I know"

"Is that why you keep touching me?" Sherlock's voice was gentle. John smiled, stood up, walked towards Sherlock and kneeled in front of him, keeping his hand on his thigh.

"Yes" he whispered. "You don't like me touching you? Do you want me to stop?"

"…..no. I just can't understand why you would want to touch me" Sherlock whispered back while looking directly into John's eyes.

"Because I like you, I want to be with you, I want to date you. I want to be able to hug and kiss you. I want to be your lover" Sherlock's eyes went big. The usual John would never had said things like this out loud. "Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have touched you like that without knowing if you wanted or not. I just couldn't stop myself. Sherlock….just having you close to me drives me mad. I want you, all of you. But I want to know how you feel about me before going any further" Sherlock swallowed. He had never heard John being this open when it came to his own emotions and what he wanted. The new him was really different and he liked it, but this time he had trouble telling him his own feelings. He knew he wanted John bu the was nervous for many reasons and he couldn't tell John the truth since he still hadn't gotten his memories back. But, if this was what the new John wanted he would tell him and see where it goes.

"I don't mind" Sherlock whispered. John looked at him as if asking him to explain himself. "I don't mind you….touching me. I…. like you too" He then felt a pair of arms wrap around him gently.

"Thank you" Sherlock melted into John's hug and then wrapped his own arms around him hugging him back. When they released each other Sherlock took a deep breathe and looked at John again.

"What about your lost memories?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said you would try to regain them. Have you given up on it?"

John smiled. "No I have not. But right now I have more important things to care about"

"Like what?" Sherlock asked confused.

"You of course" John said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Sherlock couldn't help but to blush. "I know there is a part of me still missing but I like who I am today so I will forget about it for now. Right now the most important thing to me is you and for me to make you happy. I want to make sure you are smiling, having dead bodies to look at and being healthy" Sherlock smiled and felt a tear running down his cheek. John leaned forward and kissed away the teardrop before kissing both his eyes and putting their forheads together. "I want you to let down your guard when you are with me. I want to be with you and get to know the real you"

"I will try my best" Sherlock then put his hands on John's face and made him look directly at him. "Can you promise me one thing?"

"Of course"

"Can we keep this a secret until I feel comfortable enough? All this is still new to me"

John smiled. "Whatever you want beautiful" He kissed him sweetly. "It's getting late so what do you say about going to bed?" Sherlock nodded. They stood up and went to the bathroom to brush their teeth. When walking out Sherlock noticed they started going separate ways and turned around.

"You…." he started saying and John turned around.

"Hm?"

"You're sleeping in your room?" Sherlock asked with a different tone than usually. John smiled and went to him.

"We are both new to this. I know what I want and I think you have noticed it. However I don't know what you want unless you tell me" Sherlock opened his mouth to speak, closed it, opened it again and then closed it. He had a hard time trying to convey what he wanted. John on the other hand knew Sherlock well enough to understand his body language. "You want me to sleep in your bed tonight?" Sherlock only nodded. "I would love to"

They went to Sherlock's room, undressed to their boxers before lying down. John could tell Sherlock was nervous and all so to make him relax he pulled him close from behind, kissed his neck and kept him as close as possible. Sherlock liked the feeling of John's body this close to his own. Maybe cuddling wasn't such a bad thing after all? He put his hand over John's, making them both smile before they fell asleep in each other's arms.


	7. Chapter 7

During the next 6 months Sherlock and John had become more like a real couple. Sherlock got used to having John this close to him more and more each day and John was loving it. Outside the flat they acted like flatmates but inside he could hug Sherlock, snog him and kiss him. They could cuddle and sleep together during the nights without anyone finding out.

Their sexual activities were down to a minimum at the moment. A hand job now and then, snogging and then once Sherlock had gotten a blow job from John. His orgasm had been the most violent he had ever experienced and John knew he loved it. He could tell by his face when he came and Sherlock always blushed every time John mentioned it to him.

One day they sat in the flat, bored without a case. Sherlock was doing his experiments while John was reading a book. Suddenly he heard Sherlock's chair moving and seconds after that a consulting detective was sitting in his lap, hugging him close.

"Alright, what did you do this time?" John tried to sound annoyed but failed since he was smiling.

"Nothing" John raised an eyebrow.

"No smashing the plates or dropping mugs? No body parts exploding inside the microwave?"

"No….not yet. I just….wanted to hug you" John smiled sweetly and put his hand in Sherlock hair, stroking it gently. He kissed his forehead and leaned his head against his. "John"

"Hm?"

"I'm ready"

"For what?" Sherlock sat up so he could look straight into John's eyes.

"To tell them. Lestrade, Molly, Mycroft and the others that….we are a couple. I love you and I want to stay with you, without hiding from the rest" Sherlock then realised what he just had said and blushed tomato red.

"You….love me" John grinned and squeezed Sherlock's thighs. "Honestly I never thought you would be the first one to say it but now that you did I must say I am honored. And…I love you too darling" He kissed Sherlock with passion and Sherlock melted into the kiss. It was beautiful and they went slow just tasting each other using their tongues. Sherlock's body started heating up and he moaned loudly. John broke the kiss and tried to get his breathe back. Sherlock looked at him confused. "Sorry, no harm done but if you will keep making those amazing erotic noises I will not be able to control myself for long and I will get an erection that will be hard to get rid off"

Feeling naughty and very brave, Sherlock put a hand on John's chest, keeping him in place before sitting down on his lap. "I don't mind. I haven't been giving you as much pleasure as you have been giving me so might start today. I can give you a hand job or maybe even a blow job? As long as we keep on kissing because right now I have a need to feel your lips against mine" Without hearing an answer or protest Sherlock captured John's lips with his and put his hands around his neck. John's hands grabbed Sherlock's ass and started massaging it making Sherlock moan out of pleasure.

"Ok, not exactly what I was prepared of seeing but oh well" The voice made them jump and Sherlock quickly got up from John's lap and turned around.

"Molly, what are you doing here?" Sherlock asked and swallowed. She smiled.

"Greg called your phone but when he didn't get any answer he called me. I came here to pick you guy sup, unless you need more time?" she said so both of them blushed.

"Why did he call you after only one time?" John asked.

"More like ten times" Sherlock looked at John nervously. Molly could feel the tension in the air and decided to help the boys get rid of it. "So you finally got together, about time. I was wondering when it would happen" Both of them looked at her confused. "Anyway, crime scene, Greg need both of you immediately so I'll call a cab. Be downstairs in ten minutes" She smiled, walked downstairs and shut the door behind her.

"Well….that went pretty well, I suppose" Sherlock said and looked at John. Both of them burst out laughing but then decided to get ready. Sherlock was the first one downstairs and saw Molly standing close to the road waiting for the cab. He cleared his throat so she noticed him. "I'm….I'm sorry, for not telling you earlier about me and….John"

"I already knew Sherlock. Let's just say I got my evidence"

He looked at her confused. "How could you already know? We have been hiding it for 6 months"

She laughed gently. "Please, since the first day I met you two I knew you would be perfect for each other. And when you said that John had invited you over to his apartment I knew something would happen sooner or later. I like the new John, he brings out the best in you Sherlock" She looked at Sherlock. He could see that her feelings were genuine. She was happy for him and before he knew it he hugged her.

"Am I supposed to be jealous or what?" they heard a voice say and saw John standing behind them. Both smiled.

"No worries John" Molly said. Just then the cab arrived. They got inside and Molly told the driver the address. The got out of the cab and in front of them were a tall apartment building.

"This building is new with high security, new typ of locks and alarms. For someone to get murdered in a place like this must mean the killer was someone the victim knew or else they wouldn't have been able to enter the building" John smirked. Sherlock was in case mode. He loved it when Sherlock was solving cases, he was usually sexy but his face when solving a crime was one of the sexiest things he had ever seen. The sexiest thing would be Sherlock naked, when they get to that part.

They walked inside the building, got through the security man and went to the 15th floor where the victim lived. The door stood open and when they looked inside they saw Lestrade standing over the body and next to him stood Donovan. She looked up and when she saw Sherlock she frowned.

"Sir, the freak is here" Lestrade looked up and saw the three of them standing by the door.

"Finally! I called your phone Sherlock but I didn't get an answer so I thought something might have happened to you"

"He was fine Greg, just didn't look at his phone" Molly said and smiled. They walked inside and Sherlock started walking around the body looking for clues. Just as he passed Donovan she saw something and laughed out loud.

"You have got to be joking! The freak, with a hickey? Oh my god that is so weird" She kept on laughing. John looked at Sherlock, he was hurt by the comment.

"Donovan, I am warning you, call my boyfriend freak one more time and I will make your death look like a suicide" His voice was ice cold. Sherlock felt a shiver run through him and knew that John was pissed off. Greg was just looking at John with an….amused face?

"You're his boyfriend? You're both faggots? Ha ha ha this is so weird, the tabloids will love this. The great Sherlock Holmes is a genius who loves his flatmates cock"

Suddenly they heard a smacking sound and looked at Donovan who was holding her cheek, which had turned red. In front of her stood Molly.

"Listen here bitch, if you ever so much as talk to Sherlock or John one more time with that tone or choice of words I will help John with his plan. Then I will bring you back to life in the morgue and perform an autopsy on you while you are still alive…..and I will enjoy every second of it, mark my words" Donovan looked terrified. She quickly nodded and went outside of the apartment. Molly turned around and saw Sherlock, John and Greg with their mouths open and eyes wide, looking directly at her. "Is there a problem gentlemen?" All of them closed their mouth and shook their heads, she smiled. "Good. Now Sherlock if you could give Greg the details of the victim I could sooner bring back the body to the morgue"

"Of course, certainly, no problem" She smiled and just as she walked past him he put a hand on her shoulder and leaned down close to her ear. "Thank you, you are a good friend and a cool bad ass woman" She smirked.

"Molly!" Lestrade seemed nervous. She turned around. "Will you go out with me?" She quickly looked at Sherlock who smile and nodded.

"I would love to. I will contact you after I am finished with the autopsy" She walked out of the apartment to wait there until Sherlock was finished finding clues.

"Not bad Greg" John said and smiled.

"Right back at you John. I'm happy for the both of you. How long now?"

"6 months" Sherlock answered while looking at the body.

"6 months?! Why didn't you tell me before?" John saw in the corner of his eye Sherlock turning to stone and cleared his throat.

"Various reasons, but now you know" Both smiled and Sherlock started breathing normally again.

Sherlock found a lot of clues and told Greg. There were some parts pretty obvious but Sherlock needed the autopsy report before he could solve the case so they decided to grab something to eat. Molly entered the room again and left with the body heading over to Bart's. Sherlock and John said goodbye to Lestrade before walking outside again. Before Sherlock could think or speak John started dragging him somewhere. He tried to get out of his grip but John was much stronger than him so he just let him. They ended up at a dark alley. John looked around as if searching for something before dragging Sherlock to the inner, most dark place of the alley and shoving him up against the wall quickly covering his mouth with his own.

When they broke for air Sherlock looked at John shocked. "You turned me on with your deductions and I won't last long so please let me suck your cock" Sherlock swallowed and felt a twitch in his pants. He looked at John and nodded. John quickly started unbuttoning his trousers and pulled them down along with his boxers. His cock just got to feel a bit of air before John grabbed it and put it inside his mouth, sucking hard. Sherlock grabbed John's hair and groaned. He could feel his legs turning to jelly and was glad John was holding him in position. John kept sucking while pumping his own member, both moaning, groaning and whimpering. It didn't take long before they came, John swallowing Sherlock's liquid while his own landed on the ground. As soon as he was done he released Sherlock's cock from his mouth, put him away and zipped his pants. Sherlock's legs couldn't hold it anymore and he fell down against the wall, now sitting opposite John. John smirked at the view.

"You look too sexy for your own good"

"You're one to talk" They both smiled before John helped Sherlock stand up. They fixed their clothes and made sure they didn't have any 'mess' on them before going to the main street catching a cab. Since Molly would call them when she was done they grabbed a bite to eat and then headed over to Bart's looking at the report. As Sherlock had suspected the victim's husband was the killer. He called Greg to tell him the news, thanked Molly for a lot of things before heading back home with John.

They entered the flat, removed their coats before sitting down on the sofa, Sherlock once again sitting in John's lap.

"Sherlock"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you something? It's ok to say no and I want you to be honest about it"

Sherlock looked at John. "Of course. What is it?"

"Will you let me take your virginity?"


	8. Chapter 8

"Y-You mean….like right now?" John nodded.

"I love you, you love me as well, I feel like if you are ready we could try and just go slow"

Sherlock looked away from John biting his lips. He knew he wanted John in that way as well and was even surprised that they hadn't done it yet. However Sherlock felt that having sex with John at the moment would be a bad idea. He hadn't gotten his memory back yet. If they would have sex and John would after that get his memory back Sherlock was sure that John would be disgusted and go back to his old self, the 'straight' guy. He couldn't afford loosing John again and especially not in that way.

"Sherlock?" John asked gently.

"John….I'm sorry. I really want to but I can't"

"I don't want to sound like a pervert or a sex addict for asking, but why can't you do it with me if you want to? If you're shy then we'll go slow, I have already seen your cock many times and the rest of your body"

"Look, I can't explain it but I just can't" Sherlock rose from the sofa and started walking to the kitchen.

"Sherlock, tell me. What is it that you are not telling me?"

"John, just drop it" Sherlock's voice was getting angrier, John could hear it in his tone and wondered what was wrong but decided to take it further knowing something lay behind it.

"No I won't! Not until you tell me why. I'm not stupid Sherlock I can tell when there's something troubling you. What is it that you are not telling me?"

"I'm afraid alright" Sherlock snapped. He was getting impatient and turned back into the cold Sherlock with no emotions.

"Of what? The pain? I will go slow and prepare you so I won't hurt you"

"No, not that. I am afraid of you getting your memories back" Sherlock realised he had said too much and looked away from John.

"Why would you even be afraid of that?" John knew he had to ask even though he knew the answer. "Sherlock, tell me"

"Because I was the one who made you loose them in the first place ok! It was my fault you got amnesia over 2 years ago and even though I love you as much as I do I am afraid that once your memories come back you will hate me for it and leave me here to rot because you think I am disgusting!"

John had tears in his eyes. 'Was this how he felt about the old me? That I would think he's disgusting for being gay? That I would leave him? I know I always denied my sexuality before but I am not the same man anymore and he needs to know it'

"Sherlock…." John's voice was gentle. He went to where Sherlock stood and put his arms around his waist, listening to his heart beat for a few moments before looking straight into his eyes. "Come and sit down with me" He took Sherlock's hand and made them sit down again. Sherlock tried as much as possible to avoid eye contact with John and looked hurt. "Sherlock" He avoided his gaze.

"What?"

"Look at me"

"No"

"Sherlock, please. Look at me, I beg you" John knew Sherlock couldn't resist him like that and after a few seconds he made eye contact with him. John felt his heart broke when he saw the tears in his eyes. "Sherlock, I need to tell you something. I want you to listen to everything I have to say without you interrupting me ok? Can you promise me that?" Sherlock nodded weakly. "No interrupting alright?"

"Yes…"

"Good" He took a deep breathe. "Sherlock, you remember that time when I met you at Bart's a while ago? I didn't feel well and then I had to go to Brighton to help a friend of mine" Sherlock nodded. "That day…..I got my memories back" Sherlock's eyes widened and his mouth opened in shock. "I remember everything now. The thing was when I went to Bart's I accidentally stumbled upon the place where I saw your…" He cleared his voice. "….'accident' those 2 years ago. I started feeling sick to my stomach but I didn't know why. So after speaking to you I went back to our flat and looking around I started remembering everything. How you jumped and everything before that" Sherlock started opening his mouth to say something but John put a finger to his lips. "I didn't know what to do. I felt like I had two different people inside of me arguing who would become me. I realised I needed some time away to try to remember as much as possible and since I knew what kind of genius you are I decided during that time it would be best to stay away from you since you would deduce what was wrong with me. I went around a few places for a week trying to regain my memories. I went to Baskerville, other places where we had cases before and I just felt everything coming together like a puzzle. I was thrilled but at the same time I worried. Who would I become, I had one person who wanted to hide his feelings for a certain…..black hair guy while the other one was almost an inch from sex. After thinking about you and how you were behaving I decided to stay like the new me and hoping I had read your signals right. And looking at us now I know I did and that was why I didn't tell you about it until now"

"You should have told me…" Sherlock whispered and a tear fell down. John kissed it away.

"Darling, I swear I wanted to tell you but I was uncertain how you would react as well. I was afraid that everything would go back to what it was before. However after remembering everything I was also angry at you for tricking me like you did. I thought you were dead, that I had lost my best friend, my crush. I was furious so before coming home to you I needed answer and since I couldn't ask you I went to a source and gave him a huge threat if he didn't tell me what I needed to know. He told me everything you had done during those 2 years….and for whom's sake" Sherlock blushed a bit and looked away. "After hearing everything it was like all my anger had been sucked out, I couldn't feel anything else but happiness. You were alive, you had endured torture and much more painful things just to keep me safe. From that point I decided I would stay this way and see if we could turn into an item, see if you still had feelings for me"

"Since the first day…" Sherlock whispered. His voice was small but John managed to hear it and smiled.

"Sherlock" He took Sherlock's face in his hands and forced him to look at him. "This is the real me, the way I should always have been, and I am sorry for ignoring your feelings for so long. But now I know what I want and I know that you feel the same about me, I will stay this way until the day I die. I remember all our cases together and I'm sorry for not acting upon my feelings before, I was being a complete idiot"

Sherlock smiled weakly. "We both were…." John laughed gently and pressed a kiss to Sherlock's lips.

"You want to know a secret?" Sherlock nodded. "I have always found you attractive so the times I wasn't in some weird relationship with a woman I used to wank off fantasizing about you, naked on my bed with my cock inside of you, your cheeks red and your black gorgeous hair sticking everywhere" Sherlock groaned at John's words and could feel his trousers getting tighter. "It has been on my mind ever since I met you in town, our second meeting for the first time. That is why I asked you if you wanted to. I am completely, madly in love with you Sherlock and I'm not going to hide my feelings anymore. I want you to know my feelings for you and I want the rest of the world to know it as well, to let them know you are mine" Sherlock shifted his body closer to John's and moaned at his words.

"John….I am yours, and yours only. I'm sorry for hurting you but it was the only choice I had, or else you would be in danger"

"Shh, it's ok. I know, I know. But from now on, let's not have any secrets to each other ok? I want us to be able to talk to each other about everything, no secrets"

Sherlock nodded. "No secrets" John smiled. "Can I confess something then?"

"Of course my love"

"I have got a huge erection and if we don't do something about that soon I am going to die" John grinned.

"I know the feeling love. I have got the same trouble. How about we try something new today?"

"S-Sex?" Sherlock's face looked nervous, John smiled.

"Not today, we have been on an emotional roller coaster today so let's wait a bit longer with that. I have got another idea" John grabbed Sherlock's body and dropped him on his own lap making their erections meet through their trousers. Both men groaned loudly and started panting.

"Not bad…" Sherlock said before moaning when John thrusts his hips into Sherlock's. Their erections met over and over, grinding at each other seeking friction. It didn't take long before they came. John put his hands on Sherlock's cheeks, pulling his head towards his, giving him a sweet kiss. "That felt great"

"I know. Now, it's been a long day and in the morning we need to tell Mrs Hudson and your brother about us. And the rest who doesn't know. But first we need to sleep and get our strength back"

"Can you sleep with me?" Sherlock whispered. His voice was hoarse and John knew he was exhausted. Sherlock had emotions which he had always known but today had been extremely tiring for Sherlock with all the feelings they had felt during their conversation. John smiled and nodded.

"Of course love"


End file.
